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“Letting go isn’t about resignation or defeat; it’s about creating space for what truly matters.”

For many years, I struggled with inner turmoil and emotional chaos.

My life was characterized by constant anxiety and restlessness, driven by my inability to control my thoughts and emotions.

A lack of mental clarity and focus made me feel overwhelmed by external circumstances.

Emotional reactivity to situations and people fueled most of my addictive and numbing behaviors. In hindsight, it’s clear to see that this was my way of coping with a lack of inner peace.

Inner peace is rare in the human realm, but not for the reasons you might think.

In this article, I will share how I made and kept my inner peace regardless of external circumstances.

As always, let’s start with a working definition of inner peace.

Definition: Inner Peace

I used to confuse letting go with giving up or being passive, misunderstanding its true empowering nature.

I’ve come to understand that mastering true power means knowing when to push forward and when to let go. For me, letting go isn’t about being weak—it’s about empowering myself.

While embracing change is a key part of letting go, the human brain often perceives change as uncomfortable and frightening, leading to resistance and misinterpretation.

One of the most common obstacles I faced was that I clung to outdated ideas as virtues, which made the concept of letting go seem counterintuitive or weak to me.

Another barrier existed for me was that no one taught me how to let go at home or in school, which led to destructive misconceptions.

I had formed strong emotional attachments to beliefs, possessions, and relationships, which made it challenging for me to recognize the value of letting go.

At the heart of all obstacles standing in my way of letting go and hindering my personal growth and experiencing inner peace, I observed one recurring, inescapable truth: a total lack of acceptance.

Acceptance means I feel safe. That I am at peace with the internal and external world. I can be myself, and I dont have to pretend to be anyone else. I feel like I belong, and that I am part of everything.

The state of acceptance comes into being when I am happy with what is. Acceptance is when I stop trying to change others and myself.

In my thoughts and actions, I was as far from acceptance as I could possibly be.

I can’t recall the exact moment when I first started viewed my thoughts objectively or realized they’re merely random ideas and concepts floating through my mind.

What I know is that I gradually came to understand and accept that most of what I believed to be “mine” wasn’t truly mine, and I didn’t have to let it define me.

As I released what no longer served me and those I love, my awareness expanded. For the first time in my life, I experienced inner peace.

But how did you know what to let go, you ask? I didn’t.

I had to develop the ability to recognize, understand, and manage my own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.

Ultimately, inner peace is a state that transcends rational explanation or human comprehension. Therefore, I struggled to achieve it, let alone fully understand it.

During my initial attempts to let go of some of my attachments, I quickly discovered that they serve as a defense mechanism against fear.

Recognizing that every fear I ever had and ever will have is a desire in disguise felt both liberating and terrifying.

After much struggle, I realized that to experience peace, I must not only accept both desire and fear, but honor them.

The main reason I led a life of quiet desperation, feeling unfulfilled and trapped in my circumstances, was not based on the circumstances themselves. Rather, it was because I refused to let go and therefore didn’t experience inner peace.

In my observations, inner peace comes from understanding that while I can’t control everything that happens to me, I control how I respond to it.

This is, of course, easier said than done. While the idea of managing my triggers is simple in theory, it’s much more challenging to implement in practice.

To experience inner peace, I must acknowledge and respect the challenges involved in:

• Maintaining consistent self-awareness across diverse situations
• Breaking free from deeply rooted emotional patterns and habits
• Mastering emotional regulation, particularly during times of stress or unexpected events

There is no end goal to achieving inner peace. It demands continuous effort, practice, and patience.

Understanding these ideas isn’t enough – applying them consistently in real life is the real challenge.

Five Common Misconceptions About Letting Go

There are five common misconceptions about letting go that I’ve encountered:

I’ve learned that letting go doesn’t mean I pretend issues don’t exist. Instead, it’s about changing how I react to them.

In my experience, letting go often requires significant strength and self-awareness.

I’ve come to understand that letting go is a process that takes time and practice for me, not a onetime event.

I’ve realized that letting go is a sign of deep understanding and acceptance of a situation.

For me, letting go is about acknowledging and processing my emotions, not burying them.

I’ve found that optimizing for inner peace is a valuable and honorable pursuit that improves my overall well-being and quality of life.

Inner peace is what gives meaning to my relationships, achievements, and possessions.

Without inner peace, most things become a hollow pursuit, devoid of true satisfaction and meaning. Relationships become shallow and unsatisfying and accomplishments leave me feeling empty and restless despite outward appearances of success.

Optimizing my thinking and actions for inner peace helps me maintain a calm and balanced state of mind, even in challenging situations.

It reduced stress, leading to better overall mental health.

With a peaceful mind, I make clearer, more constructive decisions.

Every time I practice inner peace, I bring something to the table. I respond to others with more patience and understanding, fostering better relationships and communication.

The most rewarding question I have asked myself is:

“Is practicing inner peace, in reality, what brings me inner peace?”

Let me elaborate..

When I seek inner peace with an active approach, I introduce a level of tension or expectation that hindered my ability to experience it.

Letting go of the pursuit and being present without judgment leads to inner peace.

Yes, it’s a paradox, it’s the practice itself that brings inner peace, not pursuing inner peace as an end goal or destination.

Cultivating inner peace, I’ve developed the mental strength to bounce back from setbacks and face life’s challenges more holistically.

As a side note, inner peace reduces cortisol levels produced by stress, which improves physical health by lowering blood pressure and boosting immunity.

What’s in it for you?

If you’ve stayed with me this far, I see two immediate benefits for you:

1. You’re investing in a more balanced, fulfilling, and resilient approach to life by optimizing for inner peace.
2. You are no longer at the mercy of others, controlled like a puppet. Inner peace gives you autonomy over your emotional state and reactions.

Optimizing for inner peace, is not about feeling good in the moment, but developing a sustainable mindset that helps you navigate life’s difficulties with greater ease and grace.

For me, inner peace is the willingness to face my fears head-on, without blaming others. It’s about accepting these fears and learning how to let them go.

It choosing to approach life’s turbulence as opportunities for growth and cultivating inner calm, rather than seeing them as obstacles to peace.

It wasn’t until I experienced it firsthand that I accepted the implications of nurturing a calm and balanced inner state.

The path to inner peace is a deeply personal and, at times, a challenging practice.

In my observations, it’s not about achieving a perfect state of tranquility at all times, but about developing the tools and mindset to navigate life’s difficulties with greater equanimity.

Inner peace comes from letting go of limiting beliefs, not gaining more knowledge.

Inner peace is the courage to show up imperfectly. It’s mastering the art of acknowledging and accepting imperfections rather than pursuing an unattainable ideal of flawlessness.

As you continue on this journey, be loving to yourself, celebrate small moments of peace, and remain committed to your personal growth.

As you let go of what no longer serves you, inner peace will gradually emerge. Your life will transform from a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows into a state of tranquility that accompanies you through your daily experiences.

May your journey toward inner peace be insightful and life-changing.

Thank you for reading.

If you found any value in my words, please share them with others.