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“True wisdom lies in understanding that absolute answers are delusional; only perspectives and the capacity and ability to analyze one’s own reasoning are sanity.”
As human beings, we often ask “What can I get from life?” or “What will life give me?”—approaching life, individuals, and circumstances with a level of entitlement, as if everything exists to serve us.
We pursue an “easy life” free from struggle and pain, filled with abundance and happiness.
When life doesn’t deliver on our unrealistic expectations, we experience psychological discomfort.
The origin of our discomfort stems from resisting the natural unfolding of life and labeling it as “the root cause of our suffering.”
In “Man’s Search for Meaning,” Viktor Frankl reverses our socially accepted perspective, “What are we asking from life?” to the more profound “What is life asking from us?”
He calls it “call to meaning” or purpose.
Through his experiences in the concentration camps, Frankl observed how prisoners who found meaning—through love for family, creative work, or simply helping others—were more likely to survive their struggle.
His observations teach us that life’s meaning emerges not from grand philosophical concepts, but from our daily choices, the relationships we nurture, and how we respond to or own and others’ suffering.
Even in humanity’s darkest moments, Frankl noticed how each person discovered their unique purpose, expanding through every challenge they faced.
The Modern Pursuit of Empty Validation
In the nearly 80 years since Frankl’s insights, we’ve turned into fixated, superficially validation-hungry creatures that mistake constant busyness for meaningful engagement.
We encourage and celebrate burnout-producing behaviors and much too late; we discover the destructive impact of these choices on our health, our families, and the planet.
For years, I followed this exhausting recipe until burnout forced me to reevaluate my life and break free from these self-destructive behaviors.
I poured endless energy into meaningless tasks, avoiding the difficult questions looming over me—questions I knew I needed to ask myself but feared answering.
I focused on the wrong things for so long that they became my only perspective.
Obsessed with others’ definition of success, I mistook superficiality for a fulfilling life.
It never occurred to me that the way I was living wouldn’t create any cherished memories to look back on when I grew older.
In retrospect, I see that the few times I slowed down were a series of mental and emotional breakdowns—not rest.
Like so many others, I only slowed down when I collapsed from exhaustion each night, or when I got sick.
What is Life Asking of You?
One of the most profound questions I began asking—and continue to ask myself to this day is:
What is my life’s calling?
Or, as Frankl would ask, what is life asking of me?
This question shifts focus from the primitive wanting, clinging, and need for recognition; it delves into the core of a deeper sense of purpose.
When I started listing, it lighted up every corner of my human experience.
Until age 30, I only asked myself “What can I get from life?” or “What can this person give me?”
As a result, I saw the world through a lens of scarcity and emptiness.
Nothing could satisfy my desperate hunger for more.
The harder I pushed myself, the more miserable I became—pushing others away in the process.
Everything changed when I realized my attachment to sensual pleasures was holding me back—I needed to let go of my ego.
Ego, in my case, being the part of me creating a false self-image—The voice of fear, judgment of self and others.
It’s that mental construct constantly seeking validation, recognition, and control—something we all know intimately but rarely acknowledge.
The disintegration comparison and judgement that had poisoned my mind for the first three decades of my life became the starting point for a more peaceful way of living.
A peaceful mind will give you a peaceful life, because it’s a holistic state of mental tranquility and emotional balance that arises from cultivating inner stability and letting go of mental clutter.
It manifests as a state of calm and mental clarity that persists regardless of external circumstances, leading to reduced stress and anxiety.
In practice, this means starting each day without our usual ****outward appearance that prevents genuine self-expression and authentic connections with others.
Years ago, I made a deliberate choice to dismantle every emotional barrier I had constructed to shield myself from vulnerability and authenticity.
Living without that old self-image was both terrifying and exciting—a strange mix of fear and freedom.
The world’s reaction to my true self and the future remained unknown. It felt like exploring a foreign country without a map.
No matter where I found myself, I existed fully in that space and moment. I no longer pretended to have it all figured out.
For the last twenty years, I’ve awakened each day and surrendered to each moment, accepting and experiencing the present without resistance or attachment to outcomes.
I let life unfold while staying engaged and responsive, rather than letting my fears or rigid expectations control everything and everyone around me.
No matter how much life challenges me—which it does every day—I no longer have suicidal thoughts.
One common question I receive is; How did you transition from anxiety and depression to where you are today?
My answer is that I didn’t transform anything—rather, I released what was standing in the way of what already existed within me.
That though I couldn’t find a rational reason for living; there was no reason I couldn’t survive and find joy.
So, I made a choice, to live simply for life itself, with no need for justification or achievements—not for my children or my patients.
The moment I accepted everything I do is a choice it all fell into place.
Choosing to live, instead of taking my life, is the most generous gift I can offer my fellow human beings.
I stopped playing the common human games of pretending to be altruistic, virtuous, and competent just to gain social status.
Instead, I focus on reducing the suffering I cause others.
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