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“We believe that more knowledge will keep us safe – However, the absence of fear comes not from knowledge, but from practice.“
There are more self-help books than you’ll ever have time to read, more self-improvement videos than you can ever watch, and more workshops and meditation retreats than you could possibly attend.
The sheer volume of information on self-help is so overwhelming that it’s easy to fall into the trap of constantly seeking new knowledge without putting it into practice.
Personal growth requires active practice, not the accumulation of knowledge.
Less is more. Less judgment and less opinion is where we all must start if we want to create a better life for ourselves.
Reading about personal growth or attending retreats alone won’t lead to meaningful, lasting change.
The real growth happens when we stop living in our comfort zone and start challenging our limiting beliefs and triggers.
In this article, I’ll share how I transitioned from pursuing knowledge to actively incorporating it into my behaviors, habits, and mindset in my daily life.
As always, let’s start with a working definition of personal growth.
Definition: Personal Growth
“Personal growth is an ongoing practical process of cultivating mindfulness, compassion, and wisdom through the practice of right view, thought, speech, action, livelihood, effort, and focus.”
The Goal of Personal Growth
My primary goal with my personal growth is to reduce, or at least not inflict, suffering on others and myself.
The secondary is to make meaningful changes to my mindset and habits to live a more fulfilling and self-aware life.
Implementing Knowledge Into Your Life
Non-fiction book has given me a theoretical understanding or information about an idea, or mental model.
Knowledge is a starting point, a foundation providing instructions and guidelines.
Without practice, I can’t transform any theoretical understanding into change.
I view knowledge as a blueprint for a building. It provides structural instructions and guidelines. However, without the actual construction process—that is, me doing the work—the blueprint remains a potential project.
Knowledge alone does not change who I am or what I am capable of.
Practice is the construction process that transforms the blueprint into self-Improvement and personal growth. It builds it up from the ground, reinforcing skills and solidifying new behaviors.
Practice provides the much needed feedback, allowing me to assess the construction progress of my personal growth by identifying areas for improvement.
The end goal of any practice is to recognize and ultimately transcend the ego.
Transformation happens when I put knowledge into practice and overcome the limitations of my ego-centric perspectives that hurt myself and others.
Practice Over Theory: How Practice Impacts Personal Growth
As I began practicing new thought patterns and behaviours, I became more attuned to my internal states.
Through practice, I discovered more dysfunctional coping mechanisms than I care to admit.
Self-awareness has allowed me to develop more constructive and healthier coping mechanisms.
Neuroscience has taught us that repeated practice reshapes the neural pathways in the brain. We used to call is muscle memory.
Over time, any practice becomes hard-wired in the neural pathways of the brain. As a result, responses to life, people, and situations become healthier, less reactive, and more intentional.
Confronting and managing my triggers through practice, rather than knowledge alone, has strengthened my resilience and reduced my tendency to feel overwhelmed.
In my quest for self-Improvement and personal growth, I’ve found not being overly attached to knowledge makes me less judgmental. I am more open to different viewpoints and ideas.
Here are some areas where only practice will lead to personal growth:
Active Listening
Knowledge: Yes, intellectually, I understand the importance of giving my full attention to a speaker, avoiding interruptions, and paraphrasing their statements.
Practice: Regardless of how much I know, time and time again, I catch myself listening passively or multitasking while I listen. So I set reminders on my phone for practice sessions of active listening during conversations with my loved ones and co-workers, showing empathy and understanding.
Empathy
Knowledge: I understand the empathy process and the importance of attention, perspective-taking, emotional understanding, a healthy detachment and being empathetic to others’ perspectives.
Practice: When I get triggered, and my brain goes into fight-or-flight mode and my knowledge gets blurred by tunnel vison.
It’s in these moments that I must let my ego and step into others’ perspectives to practice empathy.
Note to Self:
I have accepted that empathy is a lifelong process that I will never master, but never stop practicing.
Conflicts
Knowledge: Effective communication techniques, like non-violent communication, are great. I know that accepting feels better than judgment. Still, I struggle to accept, and judgment is the first thing my brain offers in most situations.
Practice: I focus on owning my limiting beliefs and applying my knowledge to real-life conflicts. I practice handling disagreements with an open mind, calmly and respectfully.
Note to Self:
Never burn a bridge, even if you will never have to cross it again; others will.
My actions have consequences beyond immediate interactions.
I bear more responsibility for the emotional and behavioral “bridges” in others’ lives than I think.
My actions either strengthen or burn bridges.
The choice is mine.
Even if know that I will never have to interact with someone again, my past interactions with them will influence their behavior towards others in the future.
Bridges that I helped build or destroy will be crossed by others.
Mindful interactions have a far-reaching impact on the behavior of others and society as a whole.
Being the change I want to see in others is a practice that starts with me.
There is no escape from this fact.
Setting Boundaries
Knowledge: Even after I’ve learned the step-by-step process to set clear and specific boundaries and protecting them, I still struggle to set them.
Practice: I actively implement and maintain boundaries in my daily life by clearly communicating my them to others. I enforce these boundaries, even when it feels uncomfortable.
I practice saying “no” without guilt when requests violate my values and goals while also respecting others’ boundaries. This is a lifelong practice that has no with no finish line.
Forgiveness
Knowledge: Intellectually, I understand the power of forgiveness for my personal well-being and the health of my relationships. In reality, it’s easier to blame others. However, this is a cheap escape that ultimately destroys relationships.
Practice: I actively work on letting go of obsessing over small things. I practice letting go of resentment and anger every day.
I make conscious choices to forgive myself and others, even when it’s difficult. Through this practice, I’ve been able to build trust in my relationships and find inner peace.
Communication
Knowledge: I have read hundreds of books on the importance of effective communication, taught it for six years, and written many articles on the topic. This doesn’t stop me from interrupting or making crazy assumptions, instead of just asking for more information.
Practice: I actively practice every day on expressing my thoughts and feelings openly, with vulnerability.
I address misunderstandings directly through open and honest dialogue, ensuring that I clarify intentions and actively listen to the other person’s perspective.
I practice talking in a way that makes people feel heard and understood. This helpes me strengthen the foundation of my relationships, fostering trust and mutual respect.
Closing Thoughts
While knowledge is essential, it’s not a guarantee of safety.
Real-world situations are often complex and unpredictable.
Even with extensive theoretical understanding, I will be unprepared for unexpected challenges.
Knowledge creates an illusion of safety, leading me to cling to the familiar. However, this paradoxically intensifies my fear of the unknown, ultimately resulting in more anxiety.
Personal growth is not about accumulating knowledge, it’s about understanding my limiting beliefs and triggers and putting that knowledge into action.
As I practiced new ways of thinking, behaviors and explored different approaches, I gained a deeper understanding of myself. This self-discovery has been crucial for setting realistic life-goals and making informed decisions that don’t hurt those I love.
Are you ready to face the discomfort needed for personal growth? What areas do you need to work on?
How will you turn knowledge into practice in your daily life?
Finally, which skill needs your attention and what steps can you take to develop it?
Thank you for reading. If you found this useful, share it!